Do you believe in love? February 9, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Lobby Book, Relationships , comments closedDo you believe in love? [3575C]
It’s probably the only thing I do believe in.
Stop being a tool and world will be your oyster February 9, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Lobby Book, Relationships , comments closedI really like her, but she can’t “handle” me right now. What do I do? [3576C]
OK, I’m guessing that since you put “handle” in quotation marks, she probably used that word specifically. In that case, I think she’s intimating that you’re a tool.
What should you do? As difficult as it might be, if you discontinue your toolishness, the world will be your oyster
Homage to Myles na gCopaleen February 1, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Culture , comments closedPerson who a parade is held for.
What is a hero?
Suggestion for a replacement graduation requirement January 28, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Duke, Graduation requirements , comments closedOne, I suggest for the replacement graduation requirement: sing aloud in front of at least 20 people a song that was written at least 20 years before you were born.
I expect It’s Only a Paper Moon would work for most undergraduates at Duke these days.
Also, I think that It’s Only a Paper Moon and Centerfold are two of the most “important” popular songs written in English from the last hundred years.
Thank you, faithful reader! Someone finally submitted a suggestion for a replacement of the “Get it on in the Libraries” graduation requirement. Take a break from your commingling, students, to send some more suggestions.
You certainly have eclectic musical taste.
Welcome to conditioning January 27, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Clothes, Culture, Lobby Book , comments closedWhy do girls look sexy in skirts, but guys just look silly? [3591C]
Welcome to conditioning.
Super wi-fi in the von der Heyden January 27, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Duke Libraries, Lobby Book, Technology , comments closedWhy does the Wi-fi in the Von der Hayden pavillion suck so much? It ruined my attempts to sky rent-a-car agencies in South Africa for my World Cup trip! [3590B]
I’m going to guess it’s a gag reflex brought on by all the students conducting academic research in the von der Heyden.
What is this thing we call love? January 27, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Life's mysteries, Lobby Book , comments closedWhy is the moon so far away, even though it appears close when viewed in water; such an irony, considering the discovery of water on the moon; therefore, what is this thing we call love? [3592B]
It’s Only a Paper Moon.
Has Duke ever had a good football team? January 26, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Duke, Sports , comments closedI know it’s Basketball Central around here, but has Duke ever had a good football team? I mean, come on! I’m from Big 10 country, and even Northwestern has a good team now.
“Has Duke ever had a good football team”?!
Let me educate you, son! While Duke hasn’t fielded a consistently great football team since Steve Spurrier coached here in the late 1980s, it was outstanding in the 1930s under Coach Wallace Wade. In fact, the 1938 “Iron Dukes” are one of only three teams ever in college football to finish the regular season undefeated, untied, and unscored upon! That year, the Blue Devils lost the Rose Bowl to Southern Cal 7-3, when the Trojans scored a touchdown in the final minute. Duke Football also had great success throughout the 1950s and 1960s under Coach Bill Murray. Unlike Northwestern, Duke Football has an overall winning percentage over .500.
“Even Northwestern has a good team now”?
Perhaps you’ve forgotten this date in Northwestern football history: September 15, 2007. Duke ended its 22 game losing streak in Evanston, Illinois by beating Northwestern 20-14. Sure, Northwestern had a good season this year: but it’s easy for a quarterback named Kafka to put up big numbers when he’s throwing to The Bucket Rider and Gregor Samsa, with levitating abilities and all those arms, respectively. The future of Duke Football is looking pretty bright under the leadership of Coach David Cutcliffe.
Libraries’ mysterious motion-sensor sinks January 20, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Duke Libraries, Lobby Book, Technology , comments closedWhy do the motion-sensor sinks in the restrooms around here work so poorly? [3586C]
[written in answer space: It's all part of the water conservation initiative and the idea is that a majority of people will get frustrated enough to resort to antibacterial no-rinse-required spray.]
Interesting theory, Secret Scribbler. But it’s more likely imprecise technology than the administration’s plot to force us to use antibacterial no-rinse-required spray. As evidence I present the fact that, while washing my hands recently and standing a good distance from the Cormatic Automated Touchless Towel Dispenser, that device shot out the prescribed quantity of paper towel. “What the hell,” I exclaimed, at which point the Cormatic responded by dispensing another quantity of paper towel of the exact size.
If you liked school, you’ll love work January 14, 2010
Posted by Library Answer Person in : Culture, Life's mysteries , comments closedDear Answer Person,
I’ve decided to quit the Duke library system – but not the AP site – cold turkey. I have a little money saved, and I’m going to just take a few years off from “working” and instead learn an instrument. Why not retire when I’m young, and work when I’m old? My entire life has been one waste after another so far, sitting in classrooms and learning next to nothing because someone else hopes that I’ll use that sitting to get a job that involves MORE sitting, which will validate their life. Forget it! I’m done! I’m not asking anyone else to support me and if someone doesn’t like it, they can go explore the depths of the PQ4315s. [AP's comment: the call number belongs to Dante's Inferno.]
My question to you is, although the above makes perfect sense – a lot MORE sense than killing yourself at a miserable non-job in hopes of retiring in time to take handfuls of NSAIDs and sit around (not that I’m saying that’s the only other choice, but it’s what’s pushed on me) – why will no one else admit that it makes sense?
Your loyal questioner since the 1990s,
JN
First of all, JN, you can’t “quit the Duke Library system cold turkey,” because we’ve got the good stuff!
Second, you have to know you’re not the only person who’s frustrated and dissatisfied with their work life (hilarious title related to your comments and a pretty decent collection of short stories: Irving Welsh’s If you liked school, you’ll love work.”) If you can get by without working, more power to you. If you have to keep working like most of us, try to brighten your work environment by doing something extra nice for your boss. Just the other day, I went into The Perk and bought for my boss a shortbread cookie with light blue frosting that said “Eat Me!” It sure made me feel good to do something nice for my boss. Give it a try.
