Lazy Club

AUNER’S PRINTING OFFICE, 110 N. TENTH ST., ab. ARCH.

Lazy Club.

My wife is such a lazy turk,
She will not do a bit of work,
She says she isn’t such a flat,
Hard work will never make her fat.
But in the morning when she wakes,
Her breakfast, upstairs then she takes,
She treats herself to toast and shrub,
And says she’s joined a Lazy Club.

When she takes it in her head
She makes me lift her out of bed,
To say a word I do not dare,
But place her in an easy chair.
To stir a peg it seems a crime,
Why there she sits till supper time,
While I’m obliged to cook the grub,
Because she’s joined the Lazy Club.

My eldest daughter’s just as bad,
I really think she’s lazy mad,
She seems too lazy now to talk,
And scarce seems half inclined to walk.
Her tongue is never free from scolds,
Her shoes arc always full of holes,
Her dress is never free from mud,
In honor of the Lazy Club.

My doteful son shows off his airs,
He cannot sit without three chairs,
And he pretends he’s got the gout,
And wants me then to carry him about.
He is too lazy to go to bed,
So snores upon the chair instead;
Wanted me to give his boots a rub,
In honor of the Lazy Club.

We keep a girl about sixteen,
To mind the house and keep it clean,
But lawks! she is such a lazy elf
I’m obliged to do it all myself.
And if I ask her then to stir,
She says I ought to wait upon her,
And give the yard and the kitchen a
In honor of the Lazy Club. [scrub,

We keep n very lazy dog,
Who lays about just like a log,
He seems too lazy to wag his tail,
And tries to immitate the snail.
Before the fire, all in a heap,
Why there he lies, goes fast asleep,
And lawks he is such a lazy chub,
I think he’s joined the Lazy Club.

And now I am in a pretty mess,
Through their cursed laziness,
And now my debts I cannot pay,
In prison I shall be obliged to lay,
When I am there, the lazy elves,
They’ll be obliged to help themselves
No doubt when they’re in want, of grub’
They must get it from the Lazy Club.

A. W. AUNER, SONG PUBLISHER, 110 N. 10th St., ab. Arch, Philadelphia.

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