A Picture of the Graham P. Society, of Washington College, Va., Represented in a Dream:
A Picture of the Graham P. Society, of Washington College, Va., represented in A Dream:
Most jovial, grave and reverend souls,
Whom this society enrolls,
Be silent, and to you I’ll state
A dream, that I have dreamed of late;
Which, as I lay upon my bed.
Was manufactured in my head.
Methought I was in Graham Hall,
Where I as usual, saw you all,
Crammed, as is common, in a crowd,
Around the hearth, and talking loud.
There sat the Marquis, (a) as [?],
As if he was, as Moses pure,
And Colonel Hudson (b) by him sat,
And tried to make the Marquis chat.
Close by was Pettifogger Paxton. (c)
Who had forsaken coke &Blackstone,
And in the corner, you might see.
Erwin and Ruckr and Grenlee. (d)
Sawney (e) was ’not at the fire at all,
But sat out, shivering by the wall;
And Kayser, Clarke and Morrison, (f)
Sat mute spectators of the fun
Bill Camphell (g) too. indeed was there,
But none but God of Heaven knew where:
And Paine and Ruff, and many others, (h)
And William Brown, and all his brothers. (i)
Such was th’ assembly, which of late,
Met in my dream. For sage debate,
Which Capt. Dudley (j) and John Lyle, (k)
Did gubernate in royal style,
The question for debate was read,
And every one ransacked his head,
For argument or any thing,
That light, would on the subject [?]ing;—
But all sat mute as mice and rats,
When they ‘re blockaded by the eats;
Till all, at length began to call,
And for the question, loudly bawl;
When up, Bill Campbell, quickly pops,
And thus the great commotion stops,
He screwed. His mouth, and thus the chair,
Addressed, with grave, uncomely air:—
“I do indeed, extremely hate,
“To go away without debate,
“And would rejoice, to see that each,
“And every one, would make a speech,
“Young members should, on every night,
“Speak and discuss, with all their might;
“For it’s no matter, how much lore
“Of learning, in you heads, you store,
“If from your heads, you cannot bring
“Your learning, it’s a useless thing.
“Just like the sounds, that in the lute,
“When untouched lie in silence mute,
“But when brought forth, in music roll
“Through every nerve and o’er the soul,
“I therefore hope that all of you,
“Will give us yet a speech or two.”
Scarce had he tak’n his seat again,
When Hudson rose, and thus began,
“And furthermore, I just would add,
“That I indeed, am very glad,
“That Campbell started the debate,
“For by my watch, it is but 8.
“And thought I have, almost all day,
“Been studying hard at Algebra,
“And also adding to my stock,
“A little lore, from father Locke;
“A thought, to-night, has crossed my brain,
“That love is not so mighty vain,
“But still indeed, I will contest,
“That Bachelors are not a pest:—
“That they should not, as I can prove,
“Be taxed at all, for lack of love.
“Therefore, wherefore, why and because,
“It should not be amongst our laws.”
Then Paxton rose and crossed his legs,
And for most strict attention begs;
Whilst on the question, he’d descant,
And prove the Colonels reasoning rant.
“Indeed. Most noble President!
“I much and greatly, do lament,
“That every time, to speak I rise,
“I cannot look you in the eyes,
“But you must grin and hide your face,
“Like some old woman. Saying grace.
“You should, when you are in the chair,
“Maintain a grave and serious air.
“And all will mach more reverence you,
‘And profit by your example too,
“I therefore hope you’ll fine me hence,
“No more so high as eighteen pence.”
Sam Campbell (l) then arose and spoke,
But all in Scripture and in joke;
And thus he loud, addressed the chair: —
“Most noble and majestic sir!
“I’m certain that there’s none of you,
“Believe what Paxton said is true;
“And well I know, that no one can,
“Prove he’s an honorable man:—
“For, by the Constitution he
“Does not abide, as you all see:
“Since he, with language insolent,
“Has e’en attacked the President,
“When Archy Paxton rises, sir,
“We all expect, from him, to hear
“Reason, that will be of some use,
“But he blabs nothing but abuse.
“And oft indeed, I cannot see,
“Upon what subject he his fool freaks,
“His subject’s nothing—and on it speaks:—
“Thus breaking one of natures laws,
“That every effect has a cause.”
Again. They for the question call,
Which long re-echoed through the Hall,
Till Sawney, thinking it not late
Enough to settle the debate.
A rose and spoke:—“Much I do fear,
“There’s little good for any here;
“For, since the moment of my birth,
“I’ve never heard such silly mirth,
“As I have witnessed in this Hall,
“To night, by speakers, and by all,
“Bill Campbell never touched the question,
“But merely spoke, to get the rest on:
“And Hudson, with his “why’s” and “where-
“And with his axioms and “therefores,”
“Ne’er touched the subject of debate,
“But straight of love, began to prate,
“Paxton indeed, but seldom deigns
“To touch the question—but complains.
“Ever desirous to foment,
“Some contest with the President;
“Who often leaves his royal seat,
“With his own subjects, to compete.
“And thus we go on, until ten,
“Talking, but not debating, then
“We leave the Hall each for his home,
“Just quite as empty as we come
“Alas! in such an abject state;—
“It’s glory’s gone—it grieves me sore—
“It soon must sink, to rise no more.”
Thus Sawney wisely, sagely spoke:—
But when he ceased, my dream was broke;—
And lo! what did so real seem.
Was but on empty, vacant dream.