They All Do It


The Music of this Song can be had of Henry J. Wehman, Song Publisher, No. 50 Chatham St., New York, or will be sent to any address, post-paid, on receipt of 35 cents in postage stamps.


Some folks will cry: Oh! shame, Mrs. Jones, you are to blame—
I never should have thought it, ma’am, of you!
When if they’d look at home, before abroad they roam,
I’m positive they’d have enough to do!
Mister Smith thinks it’s a sin for Brown to drink his gin,
And roam around the “bar rooms” night and day;
When Mister Smith was caught, drinking what he hadn’t ought,
Then he, in self-defense, was heard to say:

Four hours, three or four, lovers spooning at the door,
On any pleasant morning may be seen,
And if they steal a kiss, I’m sure it’s not amiss,
They “enjoy it,” though they say they “didn’t mean!”
When creeping down the stairs, comes the father unawares,
And kissing catch the couple in the act!
Then the mother from above, says “Don’t interfere, my love,
You can’t dispute the most important fact.”—

Old ladies will declare: Girls should never bleach their hair;
And then, again, they say it’s very nice:
Without the least restraint, to use up so much paint,
And rob the cats and dogs of all their mice!
Each one a little puff, has, inside her seal-skin muff,
She’s never seen without it night or day;
If a moment is allowed her, her little turn-up nose she’ll powder,
If you laugh, she’ll ever innocently say:—

Then what does most impress, is the style in which they dress;
’Twould make you laugh, I’m sure, if there you see—
With a hat upon their head, large enough to make up beds,
For a pussy cat, or kittens two or three;
In their panniers, too, well lined, if examined you will find
The most important papers of the day:
The weeklies if you choose, the dailies full of news,
Or anything that chance puts in their way.—

There’s my neighbor, Dinah Down, brought two lovely boys to town
And her husband gets but “one pound one” per week;
You’ll often hear him say, “If things go on this way
We’ll a lodging in the Union have to seek!
For the doctor and the nurse will drain my scanty purse,
With many more expenses to defray”—
Then he gets into a passion, when they tell him “it’s the fashion”—
And they soothe him as they sing this truthful lay:—

H. J. Wehman, Song Publisher, 50 Chatham St., N. Y.

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